Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Yumyum make me dumdum

I've just woke up, feeling so happy, smiling so big, licking my juicy lips, ummm HOW YUMMY!!! Is it real or not? me and Brad Pitt were all over each other. We were in an exotic boat. He was looking passionately into my eyes. He was shirtless showing his abs of steel. He was a real hotness. Brad Pitt in his HEYDAY. He got very closer to me, placing his hands behind my neck, kissing me long and sensual kisses.  His mouth was so sweet – he tasted of all things good and fresh ( if anyone wonders how does he taste!!  ;) loooooooooool ) One moment his lips were tender, the next strong and assertive, his tongue slowly …. then I heard my sis " wake up u lazy ass" I opened my eyes with a big smile on my face. That is so yummy. Yumyum make me dumdum. The odd thing is that Brad Pitt is not in my hot list. I've never dreamed about meeting him or fanaticized about him. But I don't deny that he is so fucking sexy. Once, my friend told me that if you dreamed about someone, it means that your souls have met in another universe. If that is true, I'm so lucky that my soul met his and kissed it   :D                                             

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Perv's Talk ;)

    My cousins have an Indian driver. A PERV. He doesn't speak any language but his mother tongue and some English. He turns every conversation into a nasty thing. So, the communication with him is difficult.

     He is chubby, likes to wear red shirts and tight pants , has excessive acne and has long greasy hair. He is fucking GROSS IMMATURE .

     Once I was with my cousins on our way home. One of them finished her soda and wanted to ask the driver to pull over to throw it into the garbage bin. She said, " excuse me " the minute she said that, he turned his face to her direction and stared at her breasts saying with extra excitement, " yeas, madam". His lazer-like eyes made her uncomfortable. Therefore, she said, "plz, stop at the zubl" instead of "stop at the garbage bin". when she said that hard-core line, she shocked the fuck out of everyone in the car. Fore the love of god ! Can't this fool say any other word? Is this even a word? Does she think that she is a cool dj and can mix things up Arabic with English?

     " Wat ? Wat zub?", the driver said . By dropping the L letter, he made the situation more awkward. Her sis and I couldn't help it, but laughe hysterically. While she, the fool one, started to cry. He looked at us with his nasty eyes , trying to act all innocent and said " what is zub? I don’t understand?" and his eyes is saying the opposite. He held the fool cousin's hand and said, "what do you want me to do?" At that moment, he crossed the line. So, her sis screamed at the top of her voic, " SHUT UP BASTRD! GO HOME". He smiled at her and winked ;) "ok, madam " with a head-shake. I laughed all the way long and swore to God not to go with them anymore till they have another driver.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Thanx a Lot My Tushie

Yesterday , I was at the mall shopping and having fun with my friend. Out of the blue, she said something hilarious, which made me laugh out loud with a spin around. While I was spinning around, she shouted: " Watch out, someone is behind you !!". I didn't give a flying fuck about what she was saying, because what is better than hitting my tushie at a guy ;) ??!!". And BAAAAAM, I hit a man behind me, and he fell down. I was about to fall on top of him, but another man helped me not to. What I wished happened but in a very awkward way :/ When I stood up and regain my balance, I had a one hell of a shock THE TWO GUYS WERE POLICEMEN. The one who fell down on the ground was a religious police, while the one who helped me was his assistant. At that moment, People were getting crowded, and my situation became even more awkward. I laughed hysterically, and ran away saying to my tushie " Hey, What did you do? You couldn't choose a smoking hot guy to hit? or a wall? Or a teenager boy? Thanx a lot to ya " After what happened, I believed I am officially a weird girl, who may end up causing a scene.

Yeah, it was awkward but funny situation, isn't it ?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I Can't Forget the Asshole-like Mouth nor the Attractive eyes!

Few days ago I bought a new hairdryer, but I didn't like it. So I decided to return it. Yesterday I went to the store to do that. There was a Sudanese seller. He was acting like a greedy alien the whole time. In fact, I hurried to his store, I even forgot my purse in the car . First, he welcomed me with a smiley childish face, within seconds, he turned to a monster who wants to eat me up, when he knew that I came to return the hair dryer. He said: what's wrong with it? and he tried to plug it in. I said: it works. No problem with it, the problem is me . I can't use it. He said: why can’t you? I said: because it is too big and hurtful. I can't hold it. Then I stopped for a second and asked myself what the hell am I saying ? Then I said: I dunno really, I can't use it. He laughed sneakily and said: sorry young lady there is no return items , but you can exchange it with another one. I said: ok , let me see what do you have. Then , I picked one and told him I want this. He looked at me with big eyes saying: actually, this one is 260 Riyals and the one you want to return is 255 Riyals , so you have to pay 5 more Riyals. I told him: sorry I have no money at the moment, you know I came to return not to exchange. He said : what shall we do ? I said: I dunno as you see I don’t even have a purse. It is only 5 Riyals. He said: no no no no no no don’t play with me trying to be the smart one here. Believe me that won't work . At that exact moment, I felt like I saw his asshole while he was saying "No". He said it in a very mean way. I can't describe how fucking disgusting he was.

I told him: I'm telling you the truth I'm not playing with you. He said: Okay, go to your car and bring the money. I told him: the car is very far away from this store . I can't go there and come back again. He said: What shall we do with this problem ?Did you come with a driver or someone else? I said: yeah, I came with my driver, but he doesn’t know Arabic nor English to tell him about the directions to your store so he can come alone to give you the 5 Riyals. He said: What can we do with this dilemma ? there is no other way than you choose a cheaper hairdryer, so it will be a win-win situation. I said: sorry I don’t like any one but this. He said: what do you think of sending someone with you to your car to bring me the money. I was thinking what the hell can't he just forget about the 5 Riyals. I mean its only 5 !!!. I said, knowing that there is no other way to convince this SOB: That’s a good Idea.

So, he asked a 15-year-old Afghani boy to come with me. Actually, he has extremely attractive wicked green eyes, which made every step I walked with him worthwhile. When we arrived at my car, I gave him the 5 riyals and told him this is for the Sudanese man. Then I gave him another 50 riyals and I told him this is for you. He said: "thank you , have a good dye " with a foxy smile that made me forget all the disgusting feeling I felt.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Now look what I've done !

Sometimes things come to my mind when I see other people and I don't know if they are true or not . Those things affect my behaviors , but I try to keep them under control .

Yesterday I was with this girl , who was telling me a tragic story . She is one of my relative's daughters .While I was listening to her, a weird idea popped into mind out of nowhere . What if this girl was exchanged at birth ? Actually , she doesn't look like her parents nor her sisters . She has different color , different hair and type of body . Oh , even her voice is too loud not like others .While I was drowning in a sea of creepy ideas, I started to laugh . Then I tried so hard to hold back by looking at her with big eyes trying to show that I was interested in what she is saying . And I know it’s so rude to laugh in someone’s face. But at the end I failed and I couldn't keep a straight face .so , she asked me : What is wrong with you ? I'm not telling you a joke ! I replayed :but you remind me of one . She said : What is it ? I said : No I can't .It is too porn for you little kid . She said : fuck you , then she ran away .

I started to laugh so hard till I peed in my pants , and wonder Was she exchanged or not ? Did her mother cheat on her father ? Am I a jackass ? Then I ran to the bath peeing , tearing up and feeling sorry at what I did to that girl . I wish there was something i could have done to avoid all this crap.